Who’s Safe and Who’s in Jeopardy?
April 3, 2013
Some people who are going through major trials and tribulations, look at the rest of the world, movie stars, rich folks, and happily married couples, and wonder if they will always be in jeopardy of being in peril. Then there are those people who have been blessed their entire lives wondering if their safety will, at one point, be in jeopardy as well. The truth: Not too many feel safe from the fear of death, the fear of poverty, and the fear of not being loved. How do we make our way out of this pessimistic point of view?
Logic isn’t the answer. You can tell yourself that the possibility or probability of losing is much greater than winning and be okay with that fact. You can understand that the world is full of tribulation and some of it may be reserved for you, because no one is safe from the elements. It rains and storms on everyone. But understand the truth doesn’t make fear any less.
You may be like me last Sunday and have a roof blow off of your house in a windstorm with no provocation.
Today, I had three men in the back yard drilling into stumps, two men replacing pipes in my crawl space, and six men and one woman on my roof completing the shingling process, when I got a call from my boss at one of my off-site yoga classes. She told me that I had a complaint from a guy in my yoga class last week and that he was about to call a lawyer from a joke I told in class that had absolutely no bad intent. You could say, in that moment, I felt like I wasn’t safe in this world.
Also, I had my roofer use my credit card without asking me to charge half of the roof project, when all he was to spend was 900 dollars to buy some extra material. I got a call from the bank and they were going to change my APR as a result, unless I paid back the 1700 dollars immediately. So, I had to spend 1700 dollars of my very allotted money to appease them. And that is just what I faced in the first five hours of the day.
You might ask, how could anyone feel safe in a world that can dole out the kinds of things that happened in my life in the past couple months—hours even? To tell you the truth, sometimes I wonder how I stay standing or financially solvent, now that I’ve had to spend about $9000 extra dollars in the past three months.
At the end of the day, I reflect on my journey in this life. I wonder what is important and what is triviality. What gets me through is that I realize that most of what is happening to me is palatable compared to people who are in abusive situations, people in war ravaged countries, sick humans with diseases that eats away at their bodies and cause every day to be painful. Every bit of what I have experienced is possible to resolve and get over. What I have been through is menial considering the possible tragedies that could strike a person. I sincerely believe that God only gives us what we can handle.
I have to tell you that I think I’m almost at my breaking point, though. But perhaps that’s where I have to be to learn my next big lesson in life. Am I okay with that? Yes.
Am I scared about what that next lesson might be and how much heartache it might bring to my life? You better believe it.
But I continue to believe in the best for me and for my life. I continue to focus in on what counts for me: the love of the people around me and the enjoyment of doing what fulfills my passion as work. We can only be as happy as we can imagine ourselves to be. I’m working on believing this is just a season in the ever changing place we call life.